i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
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I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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