turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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