I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize