I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
