You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
