Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
