Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
they're like a gay fantastic four
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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