Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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