dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
