Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
