my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
