smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
