How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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