I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There's always time for handjobs
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
