These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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