I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
