Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
