you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
