Don't you send me to vm
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
