I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
