She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
