So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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