i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize