508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
