i would punch a child for taco bell
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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