i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
