i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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