I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's official drugs can't kill me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
