Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he was CRYING into my vagina
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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