nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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