Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
