Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
