I didn't shave. On purpose
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize