We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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