You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
