Having a random hookup so left but love u
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize