paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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