I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
