6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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