its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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