He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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