Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She told me I should be a condom model.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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