I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
