if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
