I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize