Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i now understand why vodka
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize