i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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