just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
