i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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