Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
