chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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