i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
