she woke up with a sticky ear
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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