The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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