return my video game
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
