just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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