I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
