i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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