i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
